the moments that matter most
by sawyerG
Summary: random moments throught out the life of Olicity, Mostly Au some hints towards parts of the show,
1. Chapter 1

So i've been reading a lot of one shots lately as well as little ficlets and I cant help but get inspired by it all and decided that i might give it myself a go at a mutli one shot story, Olicity of course, Just moments that I imagine their lives would or could be like through out their relationship, (Friendship and otherwise) So it might be a little sloppy and at times there may bigger time jumps between chapters I.e months to years and then there could be ones that happen right after the other in the chapters, I dont know when I'll upload I'm just gonna write as many as possible before I decide what to do with it all.

Hope you all enjoy, Love grace xx

################# Entry One - (set somewhere between season to and the sarah ollie incident) You make me scream ##################

There had always been one thing that Felicity was sure of in life, It was something her late grandmother told her before she died, Felicty had only been 12 but was smart beyond years, And when she had sat in the hospital room on the edge of the bed and asked her 'nan' whether she was scared of what was going to happen she would never forget the answer, Her grandmother had patted her hands with a sincere smile and in a quiet but firm with conviction voice said,

"No child, Because I have had a years filled with life changing moments, And knowing that i have lived, Flourished and perished in a life I 'myself' lead, Licity' darling. No matter what happens in life there will always be significant moments, They can be big gestures of romance, Or it could be just a passing moment, A memorable conversation or a look in someones eyes, They will change your life, When they happen you'll know too, So that when your time comes you will have those moments, The snippets of your own history to keep you comforted, I lived a happy life filled with these moments, I hope you will have too, Because life is filled with life changing moments you should make the most of them'

She had always remembered the words, Carried them around with her, 100% assure in that belief. Which is why she knew what was about to happen was going to be one, As she sat there in her chair in front of her lair babies waiting for him, She just knew.

She's had many life changing moments when it comes to Oliver Queen Ex billionaire-playboy-come-vigilante, First was the moment their eyes met, She was filled by a tingle in her chest the very second that they looked into each other, So much so that it lead to a second one shortly after, It being her unfortunate babble to him, After her first encounter with him she had thought a lot about it, And the words her grandmother said but still came to the conclusion that nothing more would happen, Oliver Queen was not gonna see her again, So you could be sure she was surprise every time he kept coming back.

The third moment was probably the biggest one to date so far, I literally turned her whole world around, It was her getting to her car to find a bleeding vigilante that revealed none other then The Oliver Queen, That was the first night she finally saw him, And safe to say it changed her life, She became part of the team, She had found half of her home in the men.

There was 'the dodger', 'Helena and an office chair', 'The Savior', 'Lance-Earthquake machine', Ski Diving and Lian yu, 'Russia', 'The count' , 'Barry' , 'Sarah', 'The tockman' and 'Sarah and Oliver.

There had been a lot of life or death situations more then most, But she wouldn't change a thing, Because she always had one thing fr sure since the moment they met even with all the lies she could trust him, Because no matter what he was there, Which was why she was fine with him and his budding relationship with Sarah, Okay so fine may be a strong word, Did she like it, No, But was she happy he was happy, Yes undoubtedly.

But what she wasnt happy with was being pushed out, Forgot about, And at first she chalked it up to feeling jealous of Sarah, But on closer inspection it wasn't Sarah that had been pushing her out, If anything They had became good friends, No it was Oliver who was doing the pushing.

It started with being last one informed, Early dismissals, Being told she wasn't needed, Stopped asking her for her opinion on this, Unlikely to fall into a conversation with her and the ones they did have he was terse and short meaning they never talked for longer then required, She tried to not let it get to her but every one could see she was hurt, She started to close herself off to him which was harder then she thought because he always said or did something to make her heart betray her.

She finally had enough and talked about it to Digg and wasn't surprised when Oliver asked her for lunch, Then forgot 3 times, She was at a breaking point and Sarah had suggested they go for dinner, So she reluctantly agreed, Which was where she had waited for him, Alone in the dark outside the restaurant after receiving pitying looks for an hour inside, In her self depricating mood she opted for the walk to verdant for her car, When the man appeared.

She lost inside her head didn't see him at first, But was more then aware when she felt his hands grab her, The cold metal on her neck, She just reacted how John and Sarah had trained her, Adrenaline helping her, She managed to get the knife away but wasn't strong enough to properly defend herself and landed with a thud when his fist hit her jaw, He was kicking her ribs when for a third time when the wait staff of the restaurant intervened.

She managed to walk the rest of the way to verdant but by the time she got there she thought it was safe to go inside knowing that Digg would be home an (it being date night with Carly) And Roy with Thea in the club, So she was surprised when she had got there and saw aforementioned men inside, Who immediately started hovering, But she was to annoyed and in pain to do anything, But as she sat there the painkillers kicked in allowing time for annoyed to turn to anger.

So by the time Oliver came down the steps, With a I-Just-Got-Laid Look on his face she was Furious. When he caught sight of her she saw the surprise turn to concern and then into guilt in his eyes, Not his normal guilty look, The one he get's when someones hurt, No, This was his I knowingly did something wrong, And Felicity knew automatically that he had ignored her call earlier.

"What happened?" He asks coming closer, A glare from her stopping him in his tracks, "Did something happen to your phone" She asked.

Oliver cant help the confused sputtered, "Well I called you and you never picked up, So did you break it or did you just send my to voice mail" She asked her voice turning ice cold making Dig and Roy come to the edge of the training area.

"Which One Oliver?" She asks making an effort to keep together the burning fire inside of her and the tell-tale tingle in her spine as she waited.

It wasn't long before he hung his head, "I'm sorry I- Was-" Her cruel laughter had his head snapping up to face her, The onlookers moving forward slightly from worry. She laughs bitterly forcing the sound through her throat The urge to cry hitting her before she pushes it aside and lets her fury turn to outrage, Focousing the wrath into words as she began to speak.

"You want to know what happened Oliver, What happened was YOU!" She shouted vaulting up from her chair turning her whole body to him as she pointing angrily in his directions, An act that set him into confusion.

"You don't even know do you, God your an asshole" "I' I kno-" "You want to know what happened Oliver, I chose to believe you when you said our friendship was important to you, So much so that I agreed to the lunch that Digg forced you to offer, And later agreed to reschudule twice and then you stood me up-"

"I already apologised for that Felicity you kn-" "NOOOOOO!" she shouted the words so loudly and so forcefully it sent him back half a step as she started to walk towards him a fire burning in her blue eyes he'd never seen before.

"No you dont get to talk, I AM, You get to listen to what I know, Oliver" All he could do was nod his hands up in a placating gesture.

"I know that I sat in a cafe for 2 hours waiting for you twice, While you forgot, I know you have been pushing me aside for weeks, Leaving me out, Finding fault in everything that I do, Which is always for you, I do everything for you, I know that you have made me feel like I dont belong, But I still agreed to give you another shot for our friendship, For the trust I had in you, So I like the STUPID Felicity I am, I agreed to meet you for dinner a dinner in which you begged me to go to, Only to be given pitying looks from a full crowd, Then to be sent to voice mail after 2 rings, And if that wasn't enough I go a get attacked while outside the restaurant you picked to go TO" she expelled a large breath as she took in his reaction, Noticing when he remembered that they where meant to go for dinner.

"Fel-" Again he's interrupted by a glare from her.

"So tell me Oliver was it worth it?" She asks looking up at him "Was what worth it?" He asked not liking the emotions that are gathering in his chest, "What ever it was that made you forget?" She asks just as Sarah walks in stopping in view but still off to the side of everyone.

"Whats... Going on ?" She asks sensing the tension in the air and the angry stance of Felicity, Whose brain suddenly clicks when she see Oliver's face fall, Just like that her anger is back in full force, Another laugh scratching her throat.

"Of Course, I should of known" She says more to herself then anything, "Felicity I'm So" "I AM NOT FINISHED" the words are merely spoken but the steel in them has everyone bristling.

"You know I never truly agreed with Dig last year with the whole Deadshot thing, I could understand his anger of course, It was well placed, But i never full got what he meant when he said it was always her every thing else be damned, But now, NOW I get it, But its not just Laurel, NO, Its all the Lance women, Every one else falls short" She laughs again but this time he can here the sadness twinging it.

"The moment I met you Oliver, Everything changed, You gave me something that I will forever be grateful for, A Cause, But everything else, I-" She has to close her eyes and count to three before she can continue, But her eyes continue to glisten.

"The one thing we had, Even through all the bullshit lies at the start, I mean Energy-Drink-In-A-Syringe" He cant stop the quick upturn of his lips, One that falls with her next words,

"Was Trust, I could Trust that you would always come for me, Always answer my call, That was the one thing that didn't stop until today, And just, I'm done"

All the air leaves his lungs as well as the room, As the weight of her words start to settle,

"I'm done being that girl who constantly lets you break their heart, I'm sick of being pushed and pulled, Used up, 2 Years ago I had a job that although boring I loved and the freedom to go out and enjoy a man's company before comparing him to you, I look around and your in everything, I know that my feelings aren't your fault but I always was your Friend first, Now I'm not even that" She says with a sigh before turning to pick up her bag.

"You Know tonight was meant to prove to me it writing that letter just in case was a waste of time or not, I thought stupidly that I wasn't going to need it, That I hadn't agreed to this dinner foolishly, I _TRUSTED_ that you meant it when you said my friend ship was important that you were sorry, I guess I was wrong" She cocks her head to the side much like the first time they met but the look in her eye forces any reply to die on his tongue.

"So I'm Done, I'm done being you trusted EA, Of course I'll still be here because this is much my mission as it is yours, But other then that I'm done, I don't want to go to any apology dinners or listen to any form of pleading, Because I'm done caring, I'm done wanting to be your anything, Not your EA, Adviser, Sounding board, Shoulder to lean on, I'm done with being your friend". Again it feels as if he's been punched in the gut, The water in his eyes matching her own.

"Beside I'm just an IT girl remember" She wipes a tear that had escaped off her cheek and smiles slightly, "And that is the only thing you can ask of me" she says as before turning to leave,

He doesn't think about it but suddenly his hand goes to her arm, Only to hang mid air when she flinches away from him, "I will be back to run the searches tomorrow, But I mean everything I've said, Do you understand?" she asks.

"No, Felicity I know I fucked up but-" "You broke it Oliver" "I can fix it!" He shouts His own tears silently falling matching her own, Even if its the most he's spoken, His arms flailing with determination.

"You can't, No amount of sorry's can change the fact that I can't trust you, So I'm going to put everything I have in to keeping you and this work separate, Which mean's distancing myself from you in as many ways possible, No touches, No looks, No phone calls, No matter what happens this can never be forgotten, Goodbye Oliver" The room spares a worrying glance at Felicity's back as she exits, Only to do the same to Oliver as he heads the opposite way.

And no one comments on his tears, Or how much this is going to change. Diggle not even sparing a glance before heading after the blonde.

The End,,,, For Now.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter one -

########################################## Entry two- the aftermath ########################################

Monday - 2 days since the the dubbed 'I'm done incident'

Oliver had been steeling himself for the whole weekend, His nerves having been restless since he heard the sounds of her heels echoing away from him last Friday night, The whole conversation was playing through his mind on a constant loop , Over and over, Until he was sure they would be forever burned into his heart.

He had tried speaking to her, Tried a few calls and text, All of them ignored, He had even went to go to her apartment, Sneaking up her fire escape and letting himself in, Only to find her asleep in a ball in the corner of the sofa, Tear tracks stained her cheeks, The sight hit Oliver hard, She looked so small that it stole his breath and mad his mind go fuzzy, After that he quietly slipped out and thought to give her the weekend, With that and an idea of how to rebuild or fix things already forming he allowed her and him the weekend.

He carried two hot coffee's in his hands and tried for his ball of nerves not to show as he exited the elevator on their floor, A small smile of trepidation on his lips as he turned the corner to see her, He got to see her back first her hair up in its usual ponytail, Swung side to side against her neck, The tips brushing along the top of her bright cardigan, She was dressed like she normally does, A tight but professional work dress was bright, The hem reaching the tops of her slender knees, Before a creamy expanse of calf filled the gap before her black shoes met the floor.

Coming through the office with the push of his elbow he watched her turn a breath held in her chest, Their eyes met but it wasn't the same, Her normally blue azures are filled with lots of emotions, It being always easy for him to read how she was or what she was thinking, But now the blue orbs are empty, The hurt hit him as he realizes that she has put a wall up to keep him out, It took a seconder then it should to realize her bright pink lips were moving.

"Good morning Mr Queen, I'd like to introduce Pipa Wick your new Executive Assistants, She will be taken over for me from the start of this afternoon, I'm only here to show her the ropes" She says, Her tone short and to the point, No emotion whatsoever.

"Feli-" "Can I help you Mr Queen with something before I show Pipa here how to find your schedule before we brief you with today's events" "No, I uh Need to talk to you, For a moment please" He says his eyes pleading with her.

"If its not Business related or important, I would prefer it to wait, I really must show Pipa the ropes, Mr Queen" Its the shock in his system that has him retreating mumbling about later.

The later never came, As promised Felicity help Pipa till noon before taking her exit while Oliver was on a call, When he tried to go after her the doors had already closed, With the resolve to talk to her he sat and stewed while he waited till he could get to the foundry quickly.

When he finally arrived it was to the sound of her tinkling laughter floating through the space, He turned the corner to see her talking to Roy and laughing at something he was saying, Before he new it he had a full smile on his face and her name slipped from his lips.

She turned around so fast that her hair caught the end of Roy's nose, While they locked eyes he caught a quick look behind her mask before it slid into place, Hurt, Longing, But mainly disappointment filled them, But before he could talk or say anything she had already turned and started to work on her computers.

Roy and Digg looked on with a mixture of confusion and caution, He quickly approached and placed a hand on her shoulder, Only for her to turn from his touch, Eyes filled with nothing stared at him and he couldn't help the flash of hurt that passed over his face from the one act, "Felicity Please, I know I messed up for that I cant begin to apologize, Sorry doesn't cut it but it's the only place I have to start, Please "

She looks at his face a long time, While the others await her response curiously, "No It doesn't, You have training to do, I have searches to run if you excuse me" She says nothing but fake polite at him, A detachment in her voice.

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Thursday - 4 days since.

The foundry was quiet, The only sounds coming from the training dummy as Oliver swift, Hard punches connecting to the wood, A few quiet grunts sometimes thrown in the mix, The sounds suddenly added to by feet walking its way over to the work out area of the foundry.

Knowing its just Dig he doesn't stop the aggressive work out, Just slows down slightly, Splitting his attention on the two.

"What's going on Oliver?" Dig asks, Topic heavily implied.

"What do you mean John, What does it look like?" Oliver snaps out at the same time his hands deliver deadly strikes on the dummy.

"It looks to me that you fucked up and still haven't fixed it" Dig says not put off by his angry tone, At his answer Oliver whirls round to face his friend and partner.

"I've tried, She quit and hired her replacement, Didn't even stay the day, She barely speaks to me, Wont answer my calls or text's, I try to talk to her here and she respond's with short clipped, FUCKING SENTENCES" He has slowly worked himself up and as his strikes land harder and quicker his voice starts rising loudly.

"So tell me John how am I meant to fix something I didn't even realize was broken until it was thrown in my face and now all I get is information on Arrow business, How did this even happen Dig, How did it get to this?" He asks his voice breaking slightly, Making Dig pause and Oliver reach for his water bottle.

"Do you remember what you said to her in Russia Oliver, When she told me about it I was ready to punch you, But she talked me out of it, She knew then why you did and said what you did, She understood why, So even when she had a reason to hate you she didn't, All because she knows you, Half the time better then me or you" Digg says shaking his head with a scoff.

"So how did you think she felt when Sarah showed up and not a second later you two are back together and your back in your lance spiral, But she understood, She knew you loved her and she wanted you to be happy even though it hurt, Because only a week before you had gone and given her that damn speech. She was fine she was able to put her crush or hope of romantic feelings for you away into a box, Because she was your friend, She was your partner" Dig says starting to pace until stopping to shoot Oliver a look when he opens his mouth.

"But then she suddenly wasn't that any more, You stopped turning to her, Stopped telling her about things until she had to be brought in, And then telling her she wasn't needed, You where pushing her away all because you couldn't deal the with conflicting emotions that are going on in that damn head of yours, But did you care that while you were doing all of this she was feeling adequate, Disposable , Like she wasn't your friend, The girl was half of herself, It took her getting shot for her to tell me why the clock man bothered her so much, But even then you couldn't be bothered longer then to shout at her about it a barely 'are you okay?' and then it was done, Can you tell me Oliver honestly that if Roy hadn't told you she was thinking about quitting would you of even bothered to ask her to lunch?" Dig ask the thought suddenly occurring to him.

One look at his face and Dig has his answer.

"Dammit Oliver, What the Fuck is wrong with you" Dig says a hint of disgust layering his voice.

"How the fuck was I suppose to know she was feeling that way, I thought she would understand when I missed those lunches, I didn't think she-"

"Didn't think What? That she wouldn't care that she's got stood up 5 fucking times in a row, How is getting stood up meant to prove anything other then she was right and you do in fact don't give a shit " Dig bellows angrily

"Fuck you dig, It's not like she was a girlfriend who would be bothered by it, I thought she understood me as you put?" Oliver says angrily

"You know what Oliver, Just because she understands you doesn't mean she should allow herself to be walked all over by you, And that is exactly what you do to everyone"

"I didn't ask her to do half of the things she does for me, I didn't ask her to care about if i eat on time, If i have dinner with my family, How was i -"

!"YOU TALK TO HER, You ask her how her day was, Even if she spent the whole of it with you, She gave up her job, A job she loved because you asked her to, She does those things because she know's that if you forget about lunch with Moira or coffee with Thea you'd feel guilty about it and she knows you feel guilty for way to much as it is so she doesn't want you to add to that amount, Because she cares Oliver, Because she's your friend!"

"But you know what she was right, When it comes down to it 'we' still are just the IT girl and Black driver to you, Because you can't care about it unless it's a lance" Dig says before turning and leaving, Oliver glaring at his back all the way till he disappears from view.

Thwack, The broken dummy's arm fly's off landing on the floor with a roll until it settles.

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Tuesday - 9 days since.

The lair was filled with tension, Hardly a word was spoken, Dig and Oliver where trading hard glares at each other, The air around the once bright and lively Felicity was cool and resolved hardly brightening up when Oliver left the room, A small sad twinged smile tugging at the edges of her lips when he goes.

Sarah and Roy could barely stand the tension and where quickly trying to leave but Oliver was dragging behind, So they had positioned themselves on the stairs ready to bounce when ever he leaves the bathroom.

Dig and Felicity sat quietly at her station, Digg cleaning his weapons while Felicity double checked every ones trackers and comms, It was until she was sure that evey one was gone that she spoke the one question she hadn't allowed herself to ask before.

"How's Oliver?, I know I shouldn't want to but I've got to know, Has he been speaking to you, He looks like he hasn't slept and I doubt he's eaten properly in days, I know I'm meant to hate him but I cant, I just can't not care, Dig" She trails off softly losing some of her voice, Bowing her head to hide the tears.

Before he can answer the bathroom door opens and out strides Oliver, Hood pulled up and bow in his hands, "Felicity Get me the directions to where I've got to go" He shouts not allowing himself to look at her as he head's out of the lair after the two others, Felicity scowling at his back.

"You know what I just said, Its becoming easier" Felicity says only getting a raised eye brow in agreement from dig who's also scowling after his long gone back.

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Friday - 12 days since.

The lair was unrecognizable, It still looked the same, Smelt the same mixture of leather, Lavender and sweat, Still held the same buzz of computers in the air, But it didn't feel the same, Instead of the welcome atmosphere that the three gave off together towards visitor's was gone and in its place was a cold tension thick one, One that threatened to create mass destruction should the wrong thing be said, Roy was struggling to keep himself together.

Sarah couldn't decide what was worse her sister hating her or the tension in the lair, She sits watching the other three hoovering around each other, Clipped and terse exchanges being passed between them, She can't fight the grimace that takes over her face as she watches Oliver say something to Felicity only to be shot down, 'This definitely worse, She decides.

"Oliver" All heads turn towards her when she speaks, Her voice breaking the harsh silence, "Outside, Now" With that she turns sharply on her heel and heads to the back entrance of verdant.

As soon as Oliver exits the lair and is stood in the alley way, Sarah whirls on him, The slap to his chest taking him by surprise "What the hell sarah?" He says blocking the second hit heading his way.

"Are you going to tell me why I came out here or was it just so you could hit me" He says watching as she takes two steps away.

"What are you playing at Ollie" She says and just like that he knows what its about "Leave it Sarah" He says turning on the Arrow voice, Not surprising that she doesn't take the warning and barrels on.

"Its suffocating in there, Just being in the same room with the three of you feels like torture and poor Roy's gonna end up getting an ulcer, All because you can't man up and talk to them, This friction needs to stop otherwise someones gonna get hurt or worse . You need to fix it" Sarah says crossing her thin but powerful arms across her chest.

"I tried" He admits, His voice defeated as his shoulders loose their tension and sag down. "Try again Oliver, Get her to listen" She says earning a look from Oliver like she's crazy.

"She quit Sarah, She ran away, She may be here but she's not my Felicity any more, She walks away or glares at me when I try to brooch any subject not related to Arrow business, I tried, She doesn't want anything to do with me" Oliver says shouting at her now.

"Ollie werent you the one who stayed up for three days on hold for tickets to some concert Tommy wanted to go to when your where 16 and your dad refused to get them for you, You say you've tried but if you really did want to fix it you wouldn't allow her a chance to run away, You'd say your bit and you'd fix it" Sarah says arching her eyebrow at him.

"And you better fix it soon because until you do the arrow won't be running around the city anytime soon" She adds changing her stance preparing for the out burst, He doesn't let her down she just's waits until he's finished.

"You done, Good because you will do this and if you don't, Well lets just say I'm not apposed to plan B" Sarah says an evil glint in her eyes.

He grumbles all the way back down to the lair Sarah smirking at his back while following unaware of a set of eyes that caught the whole exchange.

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Saturday - 13 day's since

Oliver had spent the whole night on his motor cycle outside Felicity's condo trying to work up the courage to talk to her, By around 5 o'clock he had broke into her house and found himself sat on her bright couch lost in thought. So the large squeal from a startled half asleep Felicity was unwelcome and had him jumping up guiltily.

"Oliver!, What the hell are you doing?" She shouts crossing her arms angrily over her large TARDIS night shirt.

"I uh I want to talk" He stammers scratching the back of his head nervously.

"About what Oliver?" She asks her whole body becoming rigid as if preparing to put up a fight.

"Us, We need, I need to talk to you about us, We need to fix this, Fix us" He says his eyes pleading with her.

"No, What ever your gonna say no, I can't , You can't do this" She say's her feet taking her away from him and into her kitchen where she automatically sorts out the coffee maker, Her hopes of him leaving being dashed when she hears him follow her.

"No you can't keep running away Felicity, You need to let me talk, To explain" He says his arm's moving about, Felicity whirls around a pointed finger at him.

"NO!, You can't explain or talk because if you do, I'm gonna listen and forgive you And I don't want to forgive you" Felicity says her eye's beginning to water.

"Felicity" "No, You can't Oliver, You don't get to choose when to fix this I do, I need time to get over what you did before I can even consider forgiving you, So you don't get to come here and force me to listen to you, Not now so just go home Oliver"

"Okay" Oliver says looking at her tired expression.

"Okay" Felicity repeats relief evident in her tone.

"Okay, Just know that I'll wait how ever it long it takes , Until your ready to hear what I have to say" He says walking out of her kitchen just before he leaves he looks at her with a sad smile before saying softly

"I'd always wait for you" Leaving her to loose her last ounce of control and slides to her kitchen floor on a sob.

The end, For now.


	3. Chapter 3

chapter two -

######################################entry three- forgiveness############################################

3 weeks after their talk in the kitchen.

 _one should forgive with a sincere mind and a willing spirit_. That was the only thought that had been circling around her mind for the last three weeks, Ever since her last proper talk with Oliver, _Even if it wasn't a real talk and the talk only lasted for 10 minutes, A very long , Intense ten minutes,_ She couldn't get her mind to stray from thoughts about what he might of said had she allowed him to speak, Her mind had been replaying their fights (talks) for weeks. Truth was Felicity hated how lonely she felt when things weren't right with him, but things with Oliver hadn't been right for weeks, This fight was proof of how bad things had been going before.

Felicity allowed her eyes to drift away from where she was looking at her computers in the lair, Sinking deeper into her thoughts.

Things around the lair had gotten slightly worse, Felicity knew how the atmosphere in the lair had changed dramatically whenever something wasn't right with one of the team, Worse when it was two people at the same time, She could always tell who it was that was in a mood by the feel of the air in the foundry.

Roy was the easiest one, Dew to the fact he had a short fuse and it didn't take a lot for things to kick off, He would brood and let his anger gather before he had a blow out, And the air would be thick and filled with a sense of _It's - about- to- happen-any -time - now,_ Similar to when your waiting for the scream on a horror movie, And the air would always be back to normal after a few hours.

Digg was different, When he was the culprit for a change in the air, It was different, He would consume the air with a thundering disappointment when ever you caught his eye before it settled in the back ground slowly simmering enough that you where aware of it but also you could force yourself to focus on other things then the impending fall out, The air would be tense for a little longer after that.

She even knew what it was like when she was the one, Everything could be fine and no one could notice anything was wrong for a few hours until someone _(Mainly diggle)_ would notice she hadn't been speaking as much and would confront her about it _(If he knew he couldn't be the reason for it)_ His concern would alert the others that something wasn't up, But Felicity was a stubborn person and could hold it in for days and leaving an unease in the air, Having every one not interact as much, And when it did unleash it was deafening, Every one holding their breaths type of thing, It was loud and filled the air with harsh righteousness, The air would stay uneasy until she was back to normal.

With Oliver it was ... With a sigh Felicity turned her head slightly so that she could land her eyes on Oliver form, Where he stood testing his bow _(with tennis balls, Because 'you just do' apparently)_ ... It was harsh and slightly suffocating before and after, His blow outs, Where just that a big blow out , Some times it involved something being thrown or kicked that would make a loud sound, His words cruel and commanding, Not giving you an opportunity to interrupt until his shouting was finished. Usually it was settled within a day or two but sometimes when he was being particularly stubborn it could take longer but it was always something she or digg did that would bring him out of his stupor.

Felicity knew that this time the argument was different, But she also knew the reason for that, It was because this was different, The air after the first few days, When Oliver was trying to talk to her and she was stiff and unresponsive towards him, The air was tense and uneasy, When Digg and Oliver also had a fall out it became worse, The air was cold and thick hard to ignore, Then it got worse after the talk in the kitchen, Granted it was more quiet now, Some of the It- Could- Explode- At- Any- Minute and dissipated but was now replaced with a closed aloofness that was off the charts, It was the quiet before the storm, She could feel it, Everyone felt like they were gearing up for the big change in atmosphere.

A crucible was coming, Her and Oliver were walking on the edge of a very fine line, Their Friendship had broken but they where inching their way closer and closer towards the moment of judgment, Everything left was now at stake, It wasn't just their Friendship at stake any more, They both knew it also, Hence why I've been dragging it out for as long as I have, She knew dragging it out couldn't continue, If a reminder for why exactly walked past her with noticeable cut on his cheek.

"Bye Blondie" Roy say's softly brushing his hand reassuringly on her shoulder as he heads out, Having caught her looking concerned at the cut he had gotten tonight, "Night Roy" She say's softly.

Knowing Digg had already left and Sarah was with her dad, She knew it was the right time, She couldn't hold it off any longer, Roy had come to close to having a knife planted inside his head tonight, The team was suffering all because of the unresolved fate of her and Oliver, She had to make a decision about whether or not she could forgive him fully or leaving the team for good, and that time was now.

Her eyes went back to looking at Oliver, Trying to gear herself up for what was about to happen, Taking three deep breaths she called his name, Her tone was quiet but he heard her all the same, Taking two smalls steps around so their eyes could meet, Once they do she has to tramp down on the urge to run away.

"Tonight can't happen again" Her voice is strong for which she's thankful,

"It won't, Roy was lucky and we'll be more careful from now on" Oliver says not having yet caught on to where she want's (doesn't want need's) this conversation to go.

"You know that's not what I meant Oliver," She says rolling her eyes at him as he brings himself a few steps closer. "Yes Roy was lucky tonight, And yes I want you all to be more careful when your dealing with bad guys but that wasn't why he got hurt, Its not his fault that he got hurt and in some ways its not even the guy who did it either, Its ours" She says pausing when he places his bow down onto the table near her station.

"Because of us the whole team have been off, At first it was okay because it didn't have any affect on what happened out their" Her hands gesturing vaguely over her shoulder

"But tonight it did, And Roy got hurt, Because of us we're putting the whole team at risk, Tonight we where all lucky but tomorrow it could be worse... I know I couldn't live with it if it had been worse. And as much as I don't want to deal with this... I don't have any choice any more, We have to deal with it" Felicity lets out a breath before holding her tongue and waiting for him to speak.

Oliver exhaled forcefully, Squeezing his eyes shut twice before nodding his head sharply, His stomach clench as he looked at Felicity and saw all the emotions she had been hiding for the first time in weeks but found the strength to walk around the bench before leaning back against it, Bringing him closer to the blonde as he prepares for what he know's could be his last speech.

"You know the one thing I've never been good at is emotions, When things got complicated or too ... Real, I'd run or find a way to get them to go away, And they always did, I could always get them to go away, Even if it was for a little while and I knew what ever it was would make it worse I'd still do it, It was better to not feel it for a while then to deal with it" He takes a deep breath looking at Felicity who seem's willing to listen sat watching him carefully, Centering himself.

"I thought that the Island changed that, And it did, But instead of running into my girlfriend sisters arms or any willing body because I'm afraid to commit, I'm pushing people away and closing myself off because I can deal with what's going on inside my head, It's better to ignore it all or just focus on one thing because... Because that one thing doesn't expect anything from me." Felicity can feel herself tensing, Her body preparing for whats to come.

"When I got back from the Island, I deluded myself into thinking it would be easy, I wouldn't need any new relationships because I would have the ones of my friends and family and that was all I would need to get me through my mission, But then I came back and it was harder, Every one wanted something from me, To be the son she lost, To be open and honest, To not have ran off with her dead sister, The press wanted me to be Play boy Oliver or they wanted a pilling mess of PTSD issues, And this is at a time when I have no clue who I want or need to be, I only had the mission, And granted I wasn't happy but the mission didnt need me to be happy or sad , And I had made peace with that, I made peace with the fact that nothing and everything will be the same, Does that make sense"

Not wanting him to stop Felicity nods her head.

"But then I met you and things started to become easier and the same goes to digg to, Everything was starting to get better, I had hope for a little while, It was so small that I could forget that I even had it for a few seconds, And then the glades happened and the thought of losing anymore people that I cared about was too much, Everything became too much, So I went back to the one place that had already stole everything from me, So that I couldn't lose anything else" He smiles but its a pained smile that tugs at pieces of her heart, Which leaves an achy feeling in her chest, Felicity having to fist her hands to restrain herself from rubbing the spot.

"Then you came to get me, And after seeing you on the landmine everything started to change, Slowly, But still parts of me was changing, I was changing, And then Sarah came back from the dead and it became too much, So I again did what I always do when things become to much, But I never intended for you to be hurt, I never intended for any of this, I never intended for you be hurt by it, For you to feel like you didn't matter, When the truth is you mattered to much, But I just couldn't take it, And then I missed those lunches and again I didn't think it was a big deal, It wouldn't matter they where just lunches, I said what ever i could to convince myself that this wasn't the same as those times when Ollie Queen went out and partied too hard and missed a brunch with his mom and sister, Or promised my dad that this college would be different, Or that Yeah I was ready to move in with laurel, And then I saw you, And... Seeing you like that broke what ever blinders I had on and for the first time I saw it"

"I saw it all, The tiredness, The anger, The pain I cause, The disappointment, The distrust ... I can't explain how much that affected me right then, All I know Is that I never want to see that in your eyes again, I never really thought about how much your trust in me meant, But not having it has been,,, God Felicity I know that I really fucked up and you have to know how sorry I am, These last few weeks with out you in my life have been hell, You've been here but you've not been my Felicity, The one who since the moment I've met her has the ability to make me smile and refuses to get me coffee, Or gives me half rambles but effective pep talks, The person that makes me feel like I have the ability to be a hero, If there's one thing that I've learnt from all of this is that I don't want to loose you, Ever"

Oliver stops before he spills more of the revelations he's discovered since their argument and instead holds his tongue and pray's that she won't walk out on him and the arrow. He waits as she seems to be collecting her thoughts, His knuckles going white from the force of the grip he has while trying to refrain from asking her to hurry.

Finally after a tense silences she speaks.

"I know that there is no one so righteous that they have not wronged another, financially or physically, through deed or speech. This pains my heart within me, because wrongs between humans and their fellow are not atoned by Yom Kippur, until the wronged one is appeased. Because of this, my heart breaks within me, and my bones tremble; for even the day of death does not atone for such sins. Therefore I prostrate and beg before You, to have mercy on me, and grant me grace, compassion, and mercy in Your eyes and in the eyes of all people. For behold, I forgive with a final and resolved forgiveness anyone who has wronged me, whether in person or property, even if they slandered me, or spread falsehoods against me. So I release anyone who has injured me either in person or in property, or has committed any manner of sin that one may commit against another, I fully and finally forgive everyone; may no one be punished because of me. And just as I forgive everyone, So may you grant me grace in the eyes of the others that they too forgive me absolutely" He's slightly confused by her strangely beautiful speech as to what that means in the fate of their friendship his back straightening when she stands up and collects her things before turning back to him.

"I'm Jewish remember" She says shrugging and smiling lightly before her face turns serious once again.

"I forgive you, But the rest is down to you, You need to decide whether or not you mean what you say, Because right now I have no proof to prove your claim honest, And Oliver I really want proof" She says the last part as a whisper but he gets the meaning as strong if not stronger then if she had shouted it.

With a nod from his head she smiles slightly before turning and heading home hoping and praying that he won't break her heart (unwittingly) again.

* * *

Ha this went a bit crazy for me, It was really demanding, In the sense that I couldn't write anything because it just wasn't right, The next chapter will have a time jump.


	4. Chapter 4

chapter three-

########################################Entry four- Distracting thoughts######################################

5 Months later

Oliver had been serious about making things right with Felicity, He had promised that if he got a second chance then he would dedicate himself to proving to her that it was not a bad decision, And after a few uneasy first few weeks they fell back into rhythm of an easy friendship, Felicity had started her own small software security firm, After an anonymous investor (And Felicity following a hunch) That turned out to be Oliver helped her, Her company took off and has been gaining ground in being recognized as a legitimate business, Felicity loved her little company, Security Software and Smoak, And after a short argument about him not telling her about it, Being ended by one of her famous missteps of the mouth and a don't do it again with out telling her the conversation had ended, But her last comment had cemented something for Oliver, Something that he had been running from since the first time he was in her company.

He was falling for His blonde IT girl, And it was getting harder ignore the urge to do something drastic, - Like throwing her over my shoulder and running back to the mansion where he can lock them inside his bedroom for hours- A cough brought him back to the room, A room full of board directors and Felicity who were talking about projections and budget cost's.

A look from Felicity and he knows that she's aware that he hasn't been focused, And she was partially right, He wasn't focused on the meeting but he was focused, On her and the words she had uttered a week ago and all of the thoughts and feelings that they bought with it, He just couldn't seem to get them out of his head.

At the time she had spoken to Digg who had been there when she stormed in shouting about boundaries and was answering his question, Never taking her fiery gaze off him, "No Oliver has no boundaries he just can't help but love being inside me" It took her a few seconds to register how her words had sounded but when the blush blossomed on her face and neck he knew she had and began an awkward babble, But Oliver was caught trapped by what the unintentional words had caused.

Ever since then he couldn't stop thoughts and images that came to his mind, Leading to a week long of nights where he was awoken by very strong and vivid dreams (not the nightmare variety) and strayed gazes, He tried hard to quell the thoughts when she was around and keep himself occupied but nothing held his attention for long and before he knew it his eyes would have found Felicity again.

She found him staring a few times, Digg and Roy and Sarah too, Even his sister had caught him at the benefit on the weekend, They had been at a fundraiser (Undercover) But even then he had difficulty keeping his mind on task, Especially after they had danced, Having her close enough that he could feel her and smell her floral scent, He found it hard to not kiss her right there in the middle of the ball room.

Their eyes had been locked and he knew by the slight darkening of her eyes that he must of shown something of his thoughts on his face, And he wasn't sure whether to of thanked Diggle or curse him when he spoke breaking their moment over the comm's. After that his sister had to of seen the dance and demanded answer's, But he had been tight lipped about it.

He at the time wasn't sure of how to handle his fast growing attraction to her and didn't know what he wanted to say.

He has always noticed that Felicity was beautiful, It was why he first tried the charming play boy routine when they first met, But he was able to quell the thoughts nearly as quick as they came, Sometimes he had the vivid dream (or two), But It wasn't until he had began to really look and notice things about her that he realized how true it was.

Everything about her was beautiful, Her kind and fierce nature, The way her legs seemed to stretch for miles yet at the same time keeping her small, How her clothes were always classy yet still made him want to strip her to nothing but what ever heels she may be wearing, How the colour of her eyes is so pure and expressive, How her lips always seemed so kissable, How she moved her fingers against her neck, When she's working out the kinks sat in front of her computers, How bright and happy of a person she is, How beautiful her laugh is, So filled with light that he cant always fight the smile from his face when he hears it, How intelligent and confusing her mind is.

It was then in that moment that Oliver Queen realized that he didn't want to, Couldn't want to, Wouldn't fight it any longer. He had some where along the way fell for Felicity Smoak, And sat in a room full of investors and screens filled with numbers and project ratings staring at the base of Felicity's neck he couldn't stop the smile that found his lips, As the fact he was over his arrows in love with her washed over and through him.

Now he just had to wait for his first opportunity to test how kissable her lips where.

#################################################################################################

A week later, They had stood in her old cubicle where they first met as they reminisced over the memory, He couldn't think of a better time or a better place to do it,

Leaning his head slightly towards her, Making sure to keep her eyes locked with his, To allow her to see his emotions in his eyes he spoke, a little proud of the small but noticeable shiver that had ran up her spine and the huskiness of his tone.

"That day all I could think about was how kissable your lips looked as you chewed on the red pen, Leaving little pink lipstick marks on the pen"

His hand had some how found its way from her shoulder to the side of her face, Cupping her cheek as she leaned into his palm.

"You remember the color of the pen I was chewing" She asked her voice tight as she struggled to keep up with all the emotions displaying on his face and the ones he was causing her to have.

"Of course, You made me smile for the first time in years, You looked so beautiful blissful, In your own little world that it made me happy seeing you so content, I hadn't even said a word to you but you were just being you, And I've been trying even when pushing you away there was still a part of me trying to be a part of your beautiful blissful world"

By the time he had finished speaking they had grown closer , His other hand snaking around her waist and her hands came to rest against his shoulders, Her head having to tilt to maintain eye contact, Their pant coming breath's mixing into one. His words making her slightly dizzy.

"Oliver..."

His lips crash down onto hers, Pouring all his passion, Desire and love into the kiss, Her lips were frozen from shock for half a second before moving against his her hands coming to pull his head closer, Her finger nails running through his short ends, Earning a low growl when ever she gave a slight tug at the base of his neck.

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Aw gotta love a bit of fluff :) xx


	5. Chapter 5

chapter five

#######################################entry five- bonding###########################################

It had been 3 months since Thea had over heard a conversation between her brother and the youngest lance daughter, And she still had no clue how she was going to reveal that she knew the truth,

She had been watching her brother closely since his return 'from dead', She wasn't an idiot, Even back then with all the drink and drugs she did (okay so she maybe a small idiot, Only a small part though) She noticed that he was different, Before the island he was sneaky but had the attitude that showed he didnt care much if he got caught, Which he often did.

She wasnt called speedy for nothing.

But after the Island his sneaky ways got stronger and more successful, He had lost his carefree attitude and in its stead was a brother who although he stood taller, Prouder he still walked and talked like their was a mountain on his shoulders, It took her a while (Longer then she'd care to admit) To realise that he would never be the brother she lost and it took her a little longer to come to terms with that.

She knew he was hiding things from her, At first she thought it was just about the Island but in the previous year after everything that had gone down, (The undertaking, Losing Tommy) She knew there was more to what he was hiding, And the same could be said about Roy, He was so hell bent on finding the identity of the Arrow that it was like another one of his shields that he puts up to separate him from the rest of the world, It was something that she was getting tired of until after he was shot with the an arrow through the knee that things started to change.

After he must of found out who the Arrow was he changed it wasn't a big change or even a change she disagreed with, He was more at ease, Like he'd solved a puzzle that he'd been dealing with his entire life and with that he was more sure of himself, More confident, More her Roy, The one she had seen when she had first looked into his eyes (after the stealing of her purse).

She like the good observer she has always been kept her suspicions to herself, She also knew that her boyfriend had started to help the arrow too, She wasn't stupid like everyone thought she was, She knew her boyfriend was the knew vigilante who's been going around the city, It was the name Arsenal that had threw her off for a little while, That was until she found out that her brother was the Arrow.

So for the last three months Thea had been trying to come to terms with everything she had found out and how she felt about her brother being a murderer, Even a reformed murderer.

But when she figured it all out she couldn't believe it had taken her so long, She knew she would of eventually figured it out on her own, (He wasn't the most inconspicuous) she was just slightly mad that she found out about it because she had fired one of her servers the day off an event at her club and therefore had to do more menial task, But that brang her to a whole new problem (One that had taken most of her time to figure out) How was she going to tell her brother she knew.

At first she left subtle hints hoping that he would just come out and tell her, But when that didnt happen she got annoyed, So she planned a way that would tell him she knew but also a way to have a little revenge too.

Once she knew who her brother and roy where it didnt take to long to realise that it was Felicity his assistant that helped her brother out with the night-time activities and Mr diggle was one that was sightly more obvious of the two to know he worked for her brother too, After all he was ex army so she could see that a cause to clean up the city free from bad guys as something she could see him get behind, Felicity's reasons for why she still hadn't figured out, But she will, She had made a promise to herself to figure it out, After all she would be her sister in law (one day).

Thea was proud of herself for figuring out the code to their secret lair, It may have taken her three days but she figured it out and once she knew she couldn't get down there fast enough , To say she was impressed would be an understatement, She had spent the majority of the time staring up at her brothers suit, But when she saw that someone would be there soon she left quickly, After she had left a present for them to find.

She wanted a game, She wanted them to work for something, And she didnt win all those competitions because she cheated (like most thougt) No she won because she was excellent at games.

So she decided to create one for herself. One with subtle clues and a grand finale.

The first clue was left on what she assumed to be Felicity's desk, A simple small key, She was going to enjoy this, Was the thought that ran through her head when she left it, And she couldnt fight off the evil gleam on her face when she spotted Felicity with the key as she left that evening.

The second clue was left for Roy and was left the day after Felicity's key, A small flashlight in the shape of an angel , Just missing the wings, One that she pretended to know nothing about when he asked her about it later.

The third clue was left in the Bentley Mr diggle drives, Just a small magazine, A copy of the observer that had the picture of an eye on the cover, She thought that was clever of her, What with him being paid to constantly be on a look out. She had laughed whole heartedly when she saw the confusion on his face when he saw the thing that had taken his seat.

Sarah was the hardest for her to place a clue for her to find, She had ended up stealling both sets of female clothes that were in the lair and leaving the t-shirt for her to find, It was a old but simple shirt, With the words Dr know plastered across in white lettering, She had spent the best part of two days to scratch as much of the Dr part off the shirt, Settling when it was just a faded faint line.

Oliver was the easiest what with her sharing a house with him an all, It was easy to slip the small diary inside his briefcase, it was one of the cheap girlie ones that she had used when she was young with the , To house her secrets. She had learnt that it was better to keep your secrets close to your chest after he had caught him reading her diary with Tommy when she was about 11, With Truth being the only word written inside

She had overheard one of the groups conversations about the clues she had been leaving for them, They were all pretty confused which had made her bite her lip to stop her from laughing at her genius.

So she decided to leave them one final clue.

A note on the door to their secret lair, While she waited inside the lair waiting.

It didn't take long only about 20 minutes until she heard the sound of the door being opened and the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs

"Oliver you can't just suit up when you have no idea where your going, Or who this person is or what they want, So just calm down and lets figure things out" Felicity says once she reaches the bottom of the stairs.

"I know what they want, And I wont let this continue any longer" Oliver growls, Which has Thea pulling herself backwards, Trying to hide from him.

"Well what are you gonna do then walk around threatening people with your grr attitude and demand if they have been leaving clues all around your secret lair for you to find"

Thea tries to stop the laugh that wants to emerge from her throat when she hears this and her brothers oncoming rant.

"WAIT!" The sudden exclamation has even Thea pausing.

"Felicity"

"Thats it, They're all clues, Very specific clues, The note on the door wasn't a note it was a card, Look see, Its a picture of a finished puzzle and the inside is a picture of the puzzle pieces, Its all a clue they all like all good clues mean something, Who ever had been leaving things here wants us to know who they are, They want us to figure it out, Quick put all your things out that has been left, I need to see what we have"

"Are you sure about this Felicity" "Im sure digg" Comes her quick reply, Then Thea can hear her moving things about.

"Okay what do we have, A key for me, Roy?" "Flash light angel" Comes her boyfriends reply "Put it here next to mine, Digg" "Magazine" She hears some movement then a thump.

"Then there was sarahs t-shirt, And Oliver what was it you got" Felicity asks "A diary, With the words truth wirtten over and over" She hears the sound of the book being flipped through and can feel her excitement building.

"Wow impressive" She can almost see the glare that her brother is sure to be sending the blonde for that comment.

"What it is, This right here is dedication, And you know me I like it when people commit to it, you can always see the difference between those that care and those that aren't really Right sorry i'll be back on track in 3 2 1"

Thea has to clamp a hand over her mouth to stop the small giggle that wants to escape her.

"Now so hears what we have, A key which opens things, Doors, windows, boxes of treasure, But it doesn't really make sense, Then theirs a the flash light angel that doesn't really look like an angel more like a -" Suddenly she stops talking and Thea just knows she's figured it out, And starts to stand up hearing everyone asking her what is it and taking her silence as a que to stand.

"Thea knows!"

"No this is not Thea she doesn't know, If she knew she would of said something or at least slapped me and Roy at least once, Its -"

"I thought about it" Thea says coming out of her hiding spot only to have a gun and bows and arrow s aimed at her, While Felicity smiles at her.

"But then I thought this way was more fun, Had to make you work for it now didn't I Ollie" Thea says smirking evily at her brother, A brother who was stood stock still shock evident on his handsome features.

It was tense for a few seconds until a smiling Felicity suddenly threw her hand up in the air in a celebratory fist pump.

"I knew it, Well I wasn't really sure untill the flash light really, Because they're quiet good inconspicuous clues, I was a little thrown by the key so you'll have to explain that to me, But I knew you would find out about your brother and not him be the one to tell me, Digg you lost, I'd like payment in full, But that's not something that we should be discussing right now, More like how did you find out and well yeah thats the place to start" Felicity says making a show of stopping any more words that wanted to leave her mouth and sending a look to thea that she has sent Oliver plenty of times in the past to start talking.

Thea smiled at them and looked a little evilly at her brother before shrugging innocently. "Oh that, Why just a plan bit of detective work really, After that and hearing Sara and Ollie a while back when I was taking out some trash helped clarify things, Also helped that they were still in their tights, Kinda hard to not believe what your seeing when its right in front of your eyes" She says smiling before looking at Felicity again.

"Oh and thanks, I put a lot of effort into finding the perfect clues that I did, And props coming from a literal genius are very appreciated, Now who's gonna give me the grand tour" She asked looking entirely too smug at the moment.

Hearing a slight grumble come from her brother Thea turned to look directly at him while simply arching one of her brows up at him. "What was that brother?"

"There not tights" He finally says sporting a very affronted frown on his face, That turns slightly sour when Felicity and Thea laugh at him before walking off into the lair.

"There not!" Oliver says whirling round to face the amused grin on his partners face.

"Hey man I don't care about your tights, I'm just wondering if its a good idea that your still standing here" John says looking entirely too amused for it to be true concern

"Why?" Oliver asks confused, Just as they hear laughter come from his sister followed by Felicity's own laugh.

"Oh I just thinking if allowing your sister and Felicity to bond isn't the smartest idea" John says shrugging one of his shoulders

"Why wouldn't I want them to get along, Thea's my sister and Felicity's she's, She's just as important to me, It would be hell if they didnt like each other" Oliver says not seeing where his friend is coming from.

"Oh I know but is it really a good idea that they bond too well, If they formed a team, Well I just leave it at that" Digg says smiling at the look of renationalisation crosses Oliver's face then turns to slight fear as he locks eyes with his.

"They would be unstoppable" is his quiet voice before he swings his head to look at his sister and His Felicity laughing.

"Oh god Ollie I think I'm in love with your Felicity, She's amazing" Thea calls loudly over to him just as Felicity turns to look at him smiling happily.

"We're gonna go get lunch, Your not allowed to join. John keep the boys away, We're going to bring lunch to Lyla" Felicity says smiling at them before dragging Thea out as the boys look on in horror after they leave the lair.

"Its already happened" Roy says speaking with the right mix of awe and fear in his voice.


End file.
